[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “ADDITIONAL CASHIERS TO THE FRONT LANES.”

Bottom Text: “NO!”]

Ugh. Let’s just face it. As soon as you submit yourself to being a backup cashier, you know you’re not going to get back to the Salesfloor or whatever you were just doing, for at least twenty minutes. 

Even if my light is off, people pile up their stuff on my belt, and I have to constantly keep telling them that I am closed, so that I can attempt to run off to get back to all the crap I have to get done.

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “SHOES.”

Bottom Text: “SHOES EVERYWHERE.”]

Oh god. The Shoe department. Do I need to continue? Shoes everywhere. On the floor, on the benches, under the benches, stuffed in corners, crap dumped here and there, and shoes. THEY’RE NEVER ON THE ACTUAL RACKS. EVER.

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “EXPLAIN STORE EXCHANGE POLICY TO CUSTOMER BEFORE RINGING UP THEIR ITEMS.”

Bottom Text: “SO HOW MUCH IS IT?”]

this happens to me every time i’m a cashier. i’ll explain the store exchange policy to the customers, and then immediately after they’ll ask me what their total is. like i can just look at what they’ve put in front of me and i can visualize their total without ringing them up

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “Carrying toy sword to put away”

Bottom Text: “Are you security?”]

I told him that he better be on his best behavior because we start chopping at the wrists.

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “HEAR OTHER ROBINS COMPLAIN ABOUT ONLY GETTING 20 HOURS A WEEK”

Bottom Text: “LUCKY TO GET A SINGLE 4 HOUR SHIFT A WEEK”]

I don’t mean to be a jerk to any people who complain about getting around 20 hours; I understand some people desperately need money more than others. However, it’s still disheartening to see some people are still unhappy with getting about 5 times as many hours as me and some of my coworkers usually get, even with open availability.

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “SIX-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF FIRST SHIFT AT STORE.”

Bottom Text: “CELEBRATE BY RABIDLY APPLYING FOR OTHER JOBS.”]

I have two post-secondary degrees and am frantically looking for jobs in either of those fields every day, but I have ramped it for ONE of those degrees is TOO MANY.

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “CLOSE WITH CRAZY MANAGER AND NEW HIRE.”

Bottom Text: “NEW HIRE NEVER SEEN AGAIN.”]

This is from my last job, a little soup-salad-sandwich place with the most problematic crew in the multiverse (seriously, we had two crack dealers, one pot dealer, a thirty-year-old guy who used to tell the sixteen-year-old girl he wished she was older so he could ask her out, one manager who started out caring and wound up leaving in a huff (but not until AFTER she hit me (a pedestrian!) with her van in an intersection on our respective ways home from work), and basically the only sane people were the owner and his partner).

The manager this concerns was the worst of all - an alcoholic and heroin addict who frequently stole from the drawer, the safe, and any kitchen supplies she could pawn to support her habit, came in drunk, hungover, and was famous for throwing up in the kitchen garbage… yeah. After a nice, long closing shift with her and the guy we had just hired a day or so prior, we were all working on closing tasks - he was mopping, I was scrubbing down the sandwich bar, she was taking in soups. The conversation went thusly:

Manager: “Ugh, [General Manager] keeps putting me on the worst shifts! I just can’t do this anymore!”
Me: “…Don’t you only have afternoon shifts? I’m working six days here, and three days at my other job right now.”
Manager: “It just breaks up my days weirdly, it’s so hard to keep my social life.”
New Hire: “Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to schedule stuff around work.”
Me: *jokingly* “Oh, you have a social life? AND work? Ha!”
Manager: *turns to me, hands on hips* “MY SEX LIFE IS JUST FINE.”
New Hire, me: …oooookay. *flee back to tasks at hand*
Manager: “It is! I swear!”
Me: “I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.”
New Hire: *has gone very, very quiet, is staring at the floor while he mops*
Manager: “Whatever. You know what’s REALLY interesting is [Owner’s] sex life.”
Me: “NO! No, I don’t want to talk about his either!”
Manager: “But don’t you ever wonder which of them tops?”
New Hire: “…Can we not talk about this?”
Me: “THANK YOU. Yes, we can stop talking about this FOREVER.”
Manager: “I don’t have any hangups with them! I think they’re fine, I’m not bothered that he’s gay at all! I just don’t think they should get married.”
(I actually followed her back into the kitchen to tell her to stop saying things like that in front of new people, and got a speech about how it was different for me, but HER generation had their own opinions. The shop owner and his partner were both older than her.)
New Hire: “WELL, MOPPING’S DONE, BYE GUYS”

He never came in again (but he did call the owner to tell him that his back was going to make it impossible for him to do the job, which had a lot of standing. I still wonder what else he told him.).

[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.

Top Text: “NAKED”

Bottom Text: “BABIES”]

CLOTHE YOUR CHILDREN. No, a diaper does not constitute clothing. Ever. It may be 80 degrees outside, but I assure you, it is not inside the air-conditioned store. And it most certainly is not in the frozen food section.

I mean, would YOU come to Walmart in your underwear? Wait, don’t answer that.

I get at least TWO customers per week that do this.

One of my managers has this bad habit of just shoving customers into my responsibility circle when she feels that she has better things to do. She’s usually really nice about it so I don’t normally mind.  

This time around, I got a woman and her husband who were just so picky about what they wanted. I work at a retail store/tourist attraction so it’s my job to not only see that they buy a ton of stuff, but to make sure they have fun, too. So I made small talk with the woman, who was just so completely excited about being in the store, helped her thoroughly scour the store for things she might want, and annoy her husband (on accident! The poor man just wanted to leave, but his wife was having too much fun). She had me take a good dozen pictures of her and her husband throughout this interaction. When they left, they said that I had absolutely made their trip, and that they had a wonderful time thanks to me. 

I couldn’t help but grin the rest of the day.